You may have read that taking care of yourself is necessary for your well-being and for the well being of those around you. But do you believe that’s true, or do you feel selfish when you take the time to do something for yourself? Long Island Behavioral Therapist, Elissa Grunblatt explains the differences of Selfishness and Self-Care.
Let’s define our terms – Selfishness is defined as lacking consideration for others and putting one’s own needs or pleasures first above others. Selfishness in context of a relationship is always watching something on television or in the movies that is to your taste and never compromising, for example.
Another great example of selfishness in a relationship is when (insert what your partner does here). There are so many to list. Here’s a few of my favorites:
- He keeps the temperature at 75 degrees when she is having hot flashes
- She puts an ingredient in the stew that he hates
- She drinks the last cup of milk so there’s none for his coffee in the morning
- He spends most football games with “the boys” rather than helping with chores
What about these examples:
- Doing yoga instead of an extra load of laundry
- Spending pre-agreed upon time with friends each week
- Scheduling a doctor’s appointment for yourself before others
- Going to the hair salon every 6-8 weeks
Selfish or Self-Care
The above examples are SELF-CARE, not selfish. Self-care can be defined as any actions you take to care for your physical, mental and emotional health. Is there any woman who can argue that those actions aren’t necessary? If so, take them to the spa immediately! Get them the help they need. And while you are there, make a spa appointment for yourself….
Elissa Grunblatt, LCSW –R is the Owner/President of South Bay Counseling, LCSW PC, a multi-clinician outpatient counseling center located in Amityville, NY and Huntington, NY.