You never thought you needed medication for psychotic behavior. Or that your memory was that bad.

In fact, you could have sworn that you said this or did that, but your partner claims that you never did.

How could you be getting so out of touch with yourself?

Or reality?

Maybe reality is that you’re not crazy. That you don’t need any medication. It could actually be that you did say this and you did do that, but your partner is using a tactic called gaslighting to convince you otherwise.

Here’s the scoop on this toxic relationship strategy.

What Is Gaslighting?

In its simplest terms, gaslighting is a tactic used by one person to gain power over another by making that person doubt reality.

It’s a slow and steady form of brainwashing.

One of the most important factors in gaslighting is that anyone can be susceptible to it. From the highly educated to the most uneducated person on the planet. Gaslighting is no respecter of gender, status, or sexual orientation.

The way it works is slow and steady, sandwiching degrading comments in between positive reinforcement.

It’s much like the concept of a frog boiling in hot water. It’s stealthy and overwhelming all at the same time.

In gaslighting, the toxic partner attempts to keep the victim on their toes, constantly doubting themselves and everyone else. In other words, confusion is a gaslighter’s best friend.

How to Recognize It

Unsurprisingly, it can get tricky to pinpoint when someone is gaslighting you. After all, this is the epitome of gaslighting.

Here are a few ways you can recognize when your partner is operating in this toxic tactic.

Actions do not match words – Look at what your partner is doing. Approach it as though their words are nothing but a cover and hold no actual weight.

They tell blatant lies – A gaslighter will look you directly in the eyes and lie even when you know the truth. With such extreme confidence, any normal person is bound to doubt themselves.

You often feel unusually confused when talking with them – Confusion is the bullseye for gaslighters. Confusion weakens your defenses and they know it.

They project onto you – They will accuse you of whatever it is that they’re doing wrong. They want you to defend yourself. If you’re constantly defending yourself, you won’t be paying attention to the wrong they’re doing.

They tell you that you are crazy or insane – This is almost always the case when it comes to gaslighting. When your partner doubts your sanity, they know it makes it harder for others to believe that they are actually the toxic partner in your relationship.

Why Your Partner is Gaslighting You

Nothing hurts quite like the pain you feel when your partner deliberately hurts you. You are supposed to be the one person in this world they are protecting.  Instead, they’re boiling you like a helpless frog.

Although there is no excuse, there are some common reasons why partners resort to this toxic behavior.

When your partner is gaslighting you they might be attempting to hide something. It could be a bad habit, an affair, a financial mishap, or a number of other negative things. Gaslighting works well as a cover-up.

As harsh as it may be, many partners gaslight to get what they want out of the relationship. This doesn’t mean your partner’s only reason for being with you is to use you. But, at some point, the focus changed and they are now doing what they can to get what they want.

Lastly, some people are so toxic that they simply enjoy the mind control and inflict mental anguish on others. Narcissist, sociopaths, and psychopaths fall into this category.

Reclaim Your Life

Being involved in a toxic relationship can be one of the most challenging experiences of your life. With the mental strategies toxic partners often employ, you might not even know where you stand with your future.

If you’re struggling with reality and your relationship, please contact me today. I can help you determine what is toxic and what is reality and how to deal with it all.