Porn and Your Husband: Is He Being Unfaithful?

In this digital age, the area between faithfulness and infidelity in a relationship are often blurred.

Technology has made it more difficult to clearly define boundaries within a marriage.

With the influx of easy access to sites, videos, and even apps, men are tempted now more than ever. Are women just supposed to accept that their husbands indulge in pornography?

Technology-based intrusions in your relationship, like your husband watching porn, can be as painful as learning of a real-life sexual affair. It’s not uncommon to feel betrayed and experience a deep loss of self-esteem. In short, your marriage can take a real hit.

Read on to understand the effects porn might be having on your own relationship.

Understanding Unfaithfulness

First, determining what constitutes infidelity is a must. In years past, when today’s technology was yet a dream, cheating was more easy to spot. It was mostly physical and sexual.

Now, the rules have changed.

In looking to understand what counts as cheating and what doesn’t, you must define clear boundaries in your marriage. A good way to recognize cheating? Ask yourself if you’d perform the action in front of your spouse.

Infidelity, summed up, is the breaking of trust due to an intimate secret being kept from the other partner. If your husband hides his porn-watching, intimate trust has most definitely been broken.

The Effects of Porn on Intimacy

Within your marriage, the two of you created an intimate space. This doesn’t necessarily surround the act of sexual intercourse. Intimacy goes far beyond sex.

Intimacy is a special connection that husband and wife share. Not only do you feel this closeness physically, but you also feel it emotionally.

Pornography has the power to distance a couple in a stealthy way. When your husband watches porn or even becomes addicted to it, you will feel a loss of intimacy.

Sharing intimate secrets with someone or something other than your spouse is typically a form of infidelity.

The Impact on Your Sex Life

As mentioned before, intimacy is more than just sex. It does involve sex, though.

In fact, sexual intimacy is one of the most powerful connections in a marriage.

Porn exposes men to an unrealistic world. Degrading and often graphic scenes are very common. These scenes are mostly of a woman’s sexual organs. There is rarely evidence the character has a face, personality, or even thoughts that matter.

Little by little, porn will rewire a man’s mind. He will begin to think of his own wife this way. He might even have difficulty coming to orgasm without picturing pornographic images or replaying a video in his mind.

Sex is the most intimate secret that the two of you share in your marriage. When something imposes on the act of mutual lovemaking then you can feel justified in tagging an infidelity title on it.

The Downward Spiral of Porn 

Scientifically speaking, porn is a strong indicator that the viewer will be unfaithful in the future.

Repetitive viewing encourages your husband’s boredom with having sex with the same person. In porn, the standard is to expect a new person and experience each time. This mindset doesn’t at all agree with the idea of sexual newness and novelty within a marriage.

While porn doesn’t shout “greener pastures” from the rooftops, it doesplant a doubt-filled seed.

Some might defend porn as a harmless habit, but it’s anything but benign. If you are looking for support for your own marriage, please contact me.

I am happy to talk with you about your relationship concerns and compose a plan of action. Together, we can create an individualized strategy to create more happiness and satisfaction in both your lives.