Couples – Help for Riding out the Bad Times

Couples go through normal difficulties – a bad day at work causing one spouse to yell at the other, financial pressures causing a rift between the couple, child rearing differences causing tension, etc.But what can you do about these situations and others so that things don’t get ugly?

Here are some general rules to use when times are bad in your relationship:

Words can hurt:

Remember that although words don’t actually have power to wound physically, they are possible to use as a weapon emotionally.

Choose your words carefully.If you are too angry at that moment, don’t continue fighting or you might regret what you say, or what you hear.

Make a deal in the early days of your relationship.There should be certain topics that are off limits for joking about or for use to taunt with during a fight.Stick with these rules without exception.

Feel the love:

Even when you are under stress and your partner is acting like an asshat, remember that you love your partner.Feel the love and compassion at the difficult times just as much as you do during the good times.

Know the things that can hurt your partner and avoid them.Know what can soothe your partner and employ them.This involves getting to know your partner on a deeper level!

Act with kindness anonymously.This way there’s no way to expect reciprocation.If your partner finds out, great; if your partner doesn’t discover your random act of kindness, then you will learn the joy of true giving to the person you love – that is, seeing them happy without direct benefit to yourself.

There can be times of stress and strain on the relationship, either due to what is going on in your life or theirs, or something you are feeling that is unrelated to your partner.I don’t know what you are experiencing but I can guarantee that not all of it can be helped.You will feel some anger towards your partner at times.How will you handle it to strengthen your relationship rather than hurt it?