Have you ever wondered what “happily ever after” is supposed to look like or feel like?
Some believe it is romance 24/7, while others tend to think that it’s more like wearing an old, broken-in shoe.
While true intimacy looks different on everyone, there are some proven ways to nurture it in your own relationship. No matter if you’ve been together for 10 years or 50 years, the key to true intimacy is knowing what it is to you and your partner. If you’re like most people, you’ve grown and changed over the years. Changing is a natural part of life. The trick is to maintain that connection with your partner by holding on to that closeness throughout all of life’s changes. Consider the following tips for maintaining true intimacy in your own long-term relationship.
1. Give up on the Fairytale Romance
Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty – they were all looking for someone to rescue them then lavish passionate kisses on them till the end of time.
This idea of finding “true love” isn’t reality, though. It’s a warped and rather juvenile expression of what true intimacy really is.
True intimacy goes far beyond romantic kisses from Prince Charming and even much further than the perfect princess wedding.
Reality is that life is pretty ordinary. Ordinary moments can be extraordinary when shared together. Embrace those moments.
2. Connect Daily
One key to establishing true intimacy in your relationship is to maintain the connection while managing the conflict.
Do something every day that helps the two of you feel close.
Whatever it is that makes you feel connected to your partner, choose to do it every day. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how close you feel when just implementing this daily habit.
Soon, you’ll start to look forward to these moments. Conflicts will have less impact and your intimacy will skyrocket.
3. Employ Great Communication Skills
It might seem obvious that great communication skills go a very long way in a relationship.
Sometimes, communicating with another human just doesn’t come as naturally as you might think.
Couples often find themselves a little lost in their relationship because neither partner can get through to the other. In this situation, a person might be left wondering if love is supposed to be this hard.
Communicating effectively can eliminate unwarranted drama and conflict. It’s not the love that’s making the relationship so hard, it’s often that each person is on a different page.
4. Share New Experiences Together
As a relationship gets older, the temptation is to stay the path.
While this notion is good in terms of faithfulness and respect, it’s not so great in terms of creating true intimacy through new experiences.
It’s important not to limit each other or limit your life by doing the same things over and over. Search for ways to make each other happy.
Maybe the adventure will be a flop, but maybe it won’t. Nevertheless, new experiences offer intimate moments of bonding. Also, they usually entail a plethora of laughter and humor.
5. Maintain Your Own Identity
A female friend of mine once said, “If you’re not enough without him, you’ll never be enough with him.”
The point she was trying to make is that you don’t need someone to rescue you or complete you. Your partner is meant to compliment you, not become the missing piece that makes you whole.
You have your own unique hobbies, interests, and talents. Creating true intimacy in your relationship means appreciating your partner for who he/she truly is.
You combine your lives but you don’t combine personalities.
True Intimacy is Attainable
True intimacy is not an incredibly epic or even profound concept. It is, however, a much sought after, everyday kind of love that stands the test of time.
To help you find or reclaim true intimacy in your own relationship, consider couples counseling. You will be able to reconnect with your partner and maintain the true intimacy you both want.